Hang On To Me
by The Telepathic Hawk
Summary: They haven't even come out as a couple yet. And yet, Chad outs himself without a second thought when Ryan is hospitalized and needs him by his side. Can Chad handle the pressures of being a gay teen with an extremely ill boyfriend? ChadRyan SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Disney owns High School Musical, not me. I make no money off of this.**

**Author's Note: This is my first HSM ****fic****, so please forgive when it gets out of character. It is Angst filled, but it is not a tragedy. Do what you will with that information. I love reviews and appreciate them very much, but they will never be a requirement for me to keep writing. Please be civil, even if you decide to flame, and refrain from attacks on my person. Attacks on the work are just fine if you don't like it.**

**Warning: This is a CHAD/RYAN SLASH ****fic****. If you don't like it, please, just don't read it.**

It felt like they were having a romance. Ryan Evans smiled softly, looking down at the current object of his affections, sharing lunch with his friends and laughing out loud, his head thrown back, his smile so wide. Ryan had never known what it was like to laugh like that, so uninhibited. He loved his family very much, his parents were good to him and his sister could be the most supportive, wonderful person in the world, when she chose. It was true that she didn't choose to be so often, but he knew that if ever there was anyone who would have his back no matter what, it was his Sharpay. He had a wonderful, contented home life, but he had never known what it was like to show people just how happy or how hurt or how angry he was. His sister did it easily. Sharpay was allowed, felt it was her entitlement, to be the emotional one. He didn't understand the nick-name "Ice Princess" for her. When she was angry, everyone knew. It was the same if she was happy or sad. There was nothing cold about her. Maybe it was because she could be hard to approach, but he couldn't think of a less cold person. Arrogant? Yes. Hard to change? God, yes. Judgmental? She could be. But, never really cold. He didn't think she'd ever frozen her emotions out, even once. The boy he was looking at now was just as emotive, in his own way, but Ryan had never learned how to be so. He could express whatever emotion was needed for a character, but if asked to display what he felt, he didn't really know where to start. When he was angry, he kept it inside and hid it with a smile. When he was hurt, he did the same thing. It just seemed like the thing to do. Sharpay ruled the school as she saw fit and he was her shadow. There might be plenty of questions about Sharpay or why she did things, but never about him. Like any good shadow, he simply faded into the background. How much could anyone in this school say they knew about him?

He was Sharpay's twin. He danced and could play baseball reasonably well. He had a backbone when he was on his own, but as soon as he and Sharpay were getting along again, he was right back to being her shadow. Everyone assumed from his flamboyant clothing and dancing that he was gay. He was. He had known he was gay from a very young age, but it would have been nice if someone asked him once, instead of just assuming. Those were probably the things that people would say if someone asked about him. You could count them on one hand. No one ever questioned why he stepped behind Sharpay so willingly. He would have told them the truth as long as they promised not to let Sharpay know that they knew she needed Ryan behind her to support her because she was actually more insecure than she could ever let on. His grades were some of the best in the school, but no one knew because he allowed them all to believe that he was still struggling with dyslexia as he had when they were younger. No one seemed to put together that he was in the same classes as Gabriella and Taylor or that he loved to study. No one knew he wanted to dance more than anything, but that if he never had to sing again he wouldn't mind. He wanted to join the American Ballet Company more than anything. His teachers thought he just might have what it took to do it, too, if he just buckled down and began seriously studying ballet and stopped wasting time on frivolous musicals. He never told Sharpay what they said. She would be furious and she needed him, so he stayed right where he was. Truth be told, he had been glad when Sharpay had left him alone so much this summer. She was finally stepping out on her own. She didn't even need him so much during this year at school. He was allowing himself to hope now that soon she would be able to stand on her own and he could go his own way because he wouldn't always be able to be there. No one, not even his parents, knew that he had always known he would die young.

Of course, those were pretty deep things, not things you share with people every day. He would have been satisfied if someone knew that he liked action movies and was allergic to penicillin. He only knew one person outside of his family who could say those two things. He was watching him laugh with his buddies right now. He allowed his thoughts to drift back to where they had begun. It felt like they were having a romance. A secret romance. It couldn't be called an affair because neither of them were otherwise attached to anyone else. He also wouldn't call it a relationship because they were constantly sneaking around and both of them had a fear of getting caught. You didn't "get caught" in a relationship because there was nothing to hide when two people were in a relationship. At least, that was Ryan's way of thinking. There was also no label on what they were. Boyfriends didn't fit because most of the times they got together it was for the simple purpose of having really great sex. Fuck buddies didn't work either because sometimes, much more rare but still it was known to happen, when they together they didn't have sex at all. Sometimes they simply curled around each other in one or the others empty house, making sure circumstances were such that no one could walk in on them, and watched a movie. Just looking at the boy in question could make him blush and stammer when he was normally so articulate and his heart hitched a little every time their eyes caught. Ryan wouldn't have minded putting the labels of boyfriends in a relationship on them, but he knew the other wasn't ready and that was okay with him.

Even though Ryan's coming out had been relatively painless, his parents having always somehow known their younger twin was more attracted to his own sex rather than the opposite, he understood that for some people it was a painful, frightening, even traumatizing experience. He wasn't naïve enough to think that all parents would be like his and smile and tell him that they loved him and supported him in every way. He, also, hadn't had an image to worry about ruining, or friends who might not have accepted him. The boy he was currently watching had both. He played sports and wasn't flamboyant in any way. A high school sports player couldn't be gay, according to the current public opinion. Though it wasn't fair, he knew that the object of his affections could lose his place on the teams he played on, possibly a scholarship to a good college, and the respect and love of the people he had only ever known as friend all his life if he came out and claimed Ryan as his boyfriend. So, he understood when Chad didn't want to come out and they never even really discussed it.

It was fine. Just being with him was enough for now. He had never expected anything of the sort to happen, so he would take whatever he could get. Watching Chad now rolling his eyes at the ridiculously sweet way Troy was kissing Gabriella's knuckles Ryan couldn't help but smile. He had always been attracted to Chad, but he had never expected that he would ever do more than have a few daydreams (and a few wet dreams, if he was being completely honest with himself) about him. He couldn't say when his longing glances had begun to be returned, as long as no one else was looking, of course. He couldn't really place when they began "accidentally" bumping into each other just so they could rub arms or when he had taken to placing his hand just slightly behind him when Chad passed so that he could feel Chad brush his fingers or maybe even squeeze them if there was time. He knew exactly when they had first kissed. Granted, being pulled into a linen closet for a harsh, frantic make-out session that had left them both shocked when Chad had come all over himself just from a little rubbing wasn't the most romantic situation, but to Ryan it was perfect. He remembered the first time they actually had sex, too, almost a month later. He had guided Chad through it gently, not wanting Chad to pull away because of embarrassment. It had hurt a little at first, because it had been so long for him and Chad hadn't lasted long, being in him for the first time, but they had gotten better and better at it until now it was nothing less of great every time.

In a way, his inability to express his strong emotion to anyone but those closest to him was an advantage in keeping his non-relationship with Chad a secret. To the rest of the world he was the same old Ryan he had always been. He could smile at Chad, but others might just assume he was smiling at his sister, sitting so happily at the jock table while Zeke fed her one of the delicious treats he had baked just for her. After all, all Ryan Evans cared about were things that affected his sister. No one would ever be able to see his desire for Chad to throw him on one of the tables and take him right there, a rather naughty fantasy they had recreated on the dining room table when the other Evans' were in New York for a dinner while Ryan had claimed illness. Not even his family could see the thrill it gave him every time they ate at that table now, good memories making him smile. Not even Sharpay knew that he was seeing Chad. It was the way he wanted it. Chad was his secret. He was content to let it be that way for as long as it would last.

He stood, bracing himself from the eventual scene that would occur when he went to get Sharpay from Zeke's lap so they could go get ready for the scene they were presenting in Drama this afternoon. It wouldn't be bad, it would just be a scene. He brightened when he realized that where Sharpay was sitting would allow him to stand close enough to Chad to touch without it being noticeable. He had just reached the stairs when an intense pain flashed through him like lightning, centered in his chest. It was gone as quick as it had come, but it left him breathless. He put a hand to his chest, and grasped the rail with the other, leaning over slightly.

"Ryan?" Kelsi called from the table where she was just getting her things together to go as well, "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he straightened, "It was just . . ."

Suddenly, the pain hit him again. It was as if someone had reached into his chest and was squeezing his heart in a strong fist. He couldn't hold back the cry of pain that came from his throat even as he struggled to breathe. He doubled over, using all the strength he had left to keep himself from falling to his knees, both hands clasped over his heart. He heard Kelsi jump to her feet, her papers scattering everywhere. She was at his side in seconds, her gentle hands on his back as she leaned to the side and tried to speak to him.

"Ryan? Ryan, what's wrong? Ryan, what hurts?"

He wished he could answer her. He wanted to answer her, but he couldn't even breathe, much less speak. His vision began to fade and he almost sobbed in relief. If he passed out he wouldn't feel the pain anymore. At the moment he was willing to do just about anything as long as the pain would stop. The last of his strength deserted him and he felt himself fall over, tumbling down the stairs like a rag doll. It was probably better that he couldn't control his body. He had read somewhere that a person who fainted hurt themselves less than someone who tried to catch themselves in a fall. He didn't even have the strength to try to stop himself. He felt the pain of the fall as if through a tunnel, like it was too distanced to affect him at all. The pain in his chest was too intense to let anything else past. He heard the sickening sound of a bone snapping when he finally landed at the bottom of the stairs, but couldn't do more than release a low moan as he looked up a the ceiling, grateful that it, too, was beginning to go dark.

"Baby? Ryan?" Chad's panicked voice finally reached him and he turned his head a little to see the boy he was almost in love with kneeling by his side, "Ryan, talk to me. Tell me what happened. Come on, baby, stay with me."

_He called me Baby, in public,_ was Ryan's last thought as his vision faded completely even as Chad took his hand. He heard Chad cry his name once more before everything went away into the black and he knew no more.


	2. Chapter 2

All previous disclaimers apply.

Chad jerked awake suddenly, his heart pounding and sweat running down his body, making the sheets clinging to him unbearably hot and sticky. He sat up quickly, throwing them off as he set his elbows to his knees and put his head in his hands, trying to rub away the remnants of the nightmare that had held him captive just moments before. He couldn't quite remember what it was. All he knew was that the sense of loss that had come from it still had his mind gripped in a bit of a panic. He released the breathe he hadn't even realized he'd been holding on a shaky sigh, trying to stop the trembles from both the cold sweat and the emotions sweeping through him. There was a grief rising in his heart that he couldn't explain, forcing him to hold back a sob.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

The sweet, quiet voice calmed him almost instantly, as did the gentle, smooth hands that were set to his shoulders. He breathed in shakily once more and leaned back against the comforting warmth of his lover's chest, allowing Ryan to wrap his arms around him. Ryan was holding him tight, making him feel steadier as his breathing began to normalize. He held onto Ryan's arms until he felt calm enough to speak. Ryan seemed to take his physical cue and loosened his grip so that Chad could turn around.

"What was it?" he asked quietly, setting a hand to Chad's cheek.

"Can't remember," Chad answered, rubbing against Ryan's hand like a kitten, "I think I lost you somehow."

"How?" Ryan's voice was gentle, knowing how hard it was for Chad, still, to express things he feared in their relationship. Chad knew that Ryan believed that every dream told a person something, so he complied with what Ryan wanted to hear.

"I don't know. Just somehow. Maybe you died. Maybe you got sick of me not being ready to come out. All I know is that you were gone."

"Chad," Ryan forced him to look up and into his bright blue eyes, "You're not going to lose me. You know that, don't you? I'm not going to leave you. I'm fine with waiting for you as long as you need. And look . . . I'm healthy as a horse, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good. So, nothing to worry about, right?"

"I guess."

"No guessing." Ryan scolded as they laid down again and Chad placed his head on Ryan's chest, allowing himself to be lulled back into a near sleep by the steady beat of Ryan's heart.

Chad smiled, "Yeah. Nothing to worry about."

"Right. So, let's go back to sleep, okay, Chad? Chad?" Chad was shocked when Ryan's voice sounded more like Troy's.

"Chad? Chad? C'mon, Chad, wake up."

"Hmm? What?" Chad came awake slowly, his thoughts confused and jumbled. Hadn't he already woken up? He had woken up from a nightmare with Ryan there to warm and comfort him. So why was he so stiff and uncomfortable now? He forced his heavy eyelids up and saw, blearily, Troy leaning over him. He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear them, and looked up at Troy again, fighting to put together what was happening, "Troy? What's going on?"

"You fell asleep. We let you go for a couple of hours, but Sharpay and her parents want to talk to us now."

Of course, it had to have been a dream. He had never stayed the night with Ryan. Sure, they had shared a bed more than once, but he had never stayed long enough to fall asleep and wake in the bed with Ryan, nightmare or not. He looked down, hoping that Troy hadn't seen what he was thinking in his eyes. Troy was amazingly perceptive when it came to things that Chad wanted to hide from him. He always had been. And though Chad had been able to hide his not-relationship with Ryan from him for months, after this afternoon he doubted that there was anyone in the school who didn't know what Ryan Evans and Chad Danforth were to each other. He stopped stretching as his mind caught. This afternoon . . .

Suddenly it all came back in a rush. He had been sitting eating his lunch when he heard Kelsi's scream. He had looked up just in time for his heart to stop as Ryan tumbled down the stairs headfirst. He had been out of his chair and running to the bottom of the stairs where Ryan lay, unmoving, on his back before he even thought about it. It had just felt natural to take Ryan's hand in his and speak to him as they spoke when they were alone in the dark. He hadn't even thought about the people around them. He had only been able to concentrate on Ryan's pale face, as Ryan looked at him for only a moment before his eyes closed. Then, no matter how much he pleaded, whispering sweet things he only said when they were alone as he stroked Ryan's hair, the beautiful blue eyes didn't open again. As soon as Sharpay got over the shock she had been on Ryan's other side, holding his hand in her own, reassuring his still form over and over again that an ambulance would be there in a matter of minutes. The expression on her face as she looked at Chad said that she didn't quite understand what was going on, but as soon as Ryan was taken care of she would be finding out. He had nodded, understanding.

He had wanted to go to the hospital with Ryan, but the paramedics had said that they could only take one other person with them, so of course he was trumped by Sharpay. He had followed quickly with Troy as soon as they had gotten permission from their parents to leave school. He had taken off at a run when he had gotten his pass and had been fighting to get his car door open, unable to get the key in, when Troy had come up behind him and taken his jey ring away. Chad had been ready to punch him before Troy spoke quietly.

"You're too upset. You're not going to help anyone by getting in a car accident. I'll drive."

The drive had been uncomfortably silent until they were nearly at the hospital. Then, Troy had finally asked, "When?"

Chad had known exactly what he was talking about, "End of the summer."

"Why didn't you tell me?" The hurt and annoyance in Troy's voice had made Chad flinch. It was what he wasn't saying that was important, though. _What did you think I would do? We've been best friends since before either of us can remember. Do you think it would have changed anything? Do you think so little of me?_

Chad didn't really have an answer for the unspoken questions. How did you tell your best friend, that, yes, you were afraid he would have hated you? How did you tell him what you were feeling when you were teenage guys? The closest you were supposed to get to talking about your feelings was a couple of one word grunts if you were upset and maybe half hugs if you were happy. At least, that's what societal norms said you were supposed to do. How did you tell your best friend that this new position you were in demanded that you think of societal norms and how to adhere to them all the time? He'd settled on another question, hoping it would make Troy understand.

"What would you have done if it was you?"

They hadn't spoken again, but as they were walking into the hospital Troy had given his shoulder a squeeze and Chad had known that while they hadn't settled anything yet, Troy was still going to be there for him, especially right now. Hours later, an endless circle of vending machine snacks, waiting, catnaps, and conversations that had nothing to do with anything, they were finally going to hear something about Ryan. Chad appreciated it when Gabriella took his hand as they walked down the hall. He needed the support. None of the guys would take his hand, for obvious reasons, he wasn't close enough to Kelsi, and Taylor had just found out that he was in a . . . something . . . with Ryan. They had broken up months before he had even gotten together with Ryan, but, still, he couldn't expect that she would be comfortable around him for at least a little bit.

They stopped outside a room where Mr. and Mrs. Evans stood. Chad wanted, more than anything, to duck into the room and see Ryan, but he forced himself to stay where he was. Gabriella kept a tight hold on his hand and he had never been more grateful to the sweet girl who had fallen in love with his best friend. He didn't know her well, but the thought flashed through his mind that he should get to know her better. Troy was in love with her and here she was, being his rock, despite the fact that they had never really been true friends. It was mostly his thing, he knew. He was too wrapped up in his own life. He would change it, he vowed silently, as they waited.

"Hi, kids," Mr. Evans looked tired and old. His voice was worn and low, but sounded hopeful. He was gripping his wife's hand much as Chad was gripping Gabi's, but she was smiling even though she too looked tired and worn. They all said the required hellos.

"It means so much that you're all here. There's some good news. Ryan didn't do too much damage in the fall down the stairs. He broke his wrist and a couple of his ribs and has a minor concussion, but other than that it's just a general banging up. He's bruised and sore, but he's okay. The doctors are still doing some tests to figure out what caused him to fall in the first place. He told them that his chest began to hurt more than he could stand and that he couldn't breathe, but they still don't know why. They're going to keep him for a couple of days until they can find out. So, there's not much you can all do here. We're actually going to head home for a few hours, too. If you want, you can all talk to him for a few minutes before you go. I know it will mean a lot to him to know you were here."

Chad stood awkwardly in the back of the group as they all entered the room. One by one they told him that they hoped he would feel better soon and that they would see him the next day. The girls all kissed his cheek, while the guys patted his shoulder a little uncomfortably. Finally, they had all left the room and he was alone with Ryan and Sharpay.

"Shar," Ryan turned to his sister, "Can we have a minute?"

"Ryan . . ." her voice had a warning to it.

"Shar," His voice was strong. Something seemed to pass between the twins without words, an unspoken battle. Chad gathered that Ryan had won when Sharpay got up with a sigh and left the room, not forgetting to glare at him as she passed. For a moment all Chad could do was stare. Ryan seemed so small and pale in the hospital bed. The I.V. in his arm made Chad shudder a little, and the oxygen tubes in his nose made Chad want to take him in his arms and never let him go. He didn't quite know what to say as he stood, hands shoved in his pockets, looking at Ryan without even meeting his eyes.

"Chad?" Ryan's voice brought him out of his uncertainty. He went to Ryan's bed, leaned over, trapping Ryan against his pillows between his arms. He didn't even think about it as he pressed his lips to Ryan's harshly. He poured all of the panic he had felt at seeing Ryan fall and all the worry of the past hours into the kiss, moving one hand behind Ryan's head so that he had a little more control as he begged Ryan for entrance with his tongue. Ryan opened to his automatically and brought his arms up around Chad to hold tight as they battled with their mouths, telling each other things silently that they didn't yet feel comfortable saying out loud. They were both panting by the time Chad pulled apart. Chad set his forehead to Ryan's and they sat like that for a few moments, allowing their breathing to normalize.

"You scared the hell out of me," Chad whispered when he finally thought he could speak again. He was a little embarrassed when his voice broke.

"Scared the hell out of myself," Ryan whispered back.

"How are you now? Are you . . ."

"I'm a little doped up," Ryan grinned, "So, in general, pretty good, though my chest still feels a little tight."

"Your parents said they're going to do some more tests tomorrow."

"Yeah." Chad didn't even think about the fact that he had slipped into the bed with Ryan and was now allowing the smaller boy's head to rest on his chest as he stroked his hair and Ryan wrapped his arms around his waist. He allowed Ryan to settle himself comfortably, knowing Ryan would know better than anyone what hurt him or not, "How are you?"

"Me?" Chad asked quietly, "Why?"

"Maybe it's just the drugs, but I'm pretty sure that you outed yourself this afternoon, Chad."

"Yeah, I guess," Chad placed a kiss to Ryan's head, "Didn't seem important when you were unconscious on the floor. I'm fine. Troy's a little weirded out, but I think he's going to be okay with it. If he is the rest of the team will follow and if the team's okay . . ."

"The rest of the school will pretend at least," Ryan completed, a little laugh turning into a little bit of a wheeze. Chad tightened his hold just a little. He could hear the exhaustion in Ryan's voice.

"Go to sleep, baby," he whispered, putting a finger under Ryan's chin to turn the pale face up to his so that he could place a gentle kiss to the sweet lips, "I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

"Hmm . . ." Ryan murmured, already half asleep. Chad felt the exact moment Ryan slipped into his dreams and allowed his own body to relax. He figured Sharpay would wake him when she came back, but for now the only thing he wanted was to sleep knowing that he held Ryan, his Ryan, safe in his arms. Dropping one final kiss to the blonde hair, he closed his eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

All previous disclaimers apply.

Ayana Danforth knew that something was wrong the moment she heard the door open and close slowly. Her baby never closed the door like that. She could always tell his mood by the way he closed the door. When he was pumped up and energetic from a basketball practice or a pick-up game with friends in someone's driveway the door was shut quickly and carelessly, almost a slam, but not quite. When he was angry, he would slam it as hard as he could manage, just as her older son and daughters had also done for years. Really it was a miracle that the door hadn't come clear off its hinges with how many times it had been slammed over the years. Her babies and herself she admitted silently, were a passionate lot who had no qualms with letting everyone around them know how they were feeling. But, Chad had just shut the door so quietly, so calmly, so . . . sadly. Even over the generous amount of noise being made by her other children and the grandbabies as they all gathered in the kitchen of the old house, she could hear the heart-broken, tired way her youngest closed the door. Perhaps it was just a mother thing, to know when your children were going to need you. She was especially tuned to her Chad, as they had been the only ones constantly in the house for so long.

Chad, her little surprise boy. Ayana and Jackson Danforth had not been expecting or planning for another pregnancy when their youngest was already eleven, but they had poured themselves into preparing for the birth with the same enthusiasm and excitement as their first three after Ayana had taken the test one morning after realizing that she was late. They had all been so excited, even Darrick, their oldest, had gotten into the spirit of getting ready for the baby. She remembered with fondness coming home one afternoon to find Darrick and half of the football team in the nursery painting the walls a soft yellow she had merely mentioned in passing that she would have liked to see on the walls if they ever had time to get around to painting. After all, the walls were still a quiet pink from Hazel's nursery. For some reason, Ayana had always known that she would be having another little boy. Then, tragedy had struck them.

Jackson had been struck by a drunk driver on his way home from work when she was in her eighth month. He had died instantly. Trying to support a family, take care of an infant, and help three very grief stricken teenagers through the death of their father had nearly broken her. Darrick had really stepped up to being the man of the house and she couldn't say how much she appreciated and loved him. He had gotten two jobs to compliment the two she was holding, made sure that his hours complimented hers so that one or the other of them were always home with the girls and the baby, and was always made sure that they had the same days off so that she wasn't taking care of the house alone. There had been a hard couple of years, but they had made it. One by one she had sent her babies off to school. Chad was only seven when Hazel had gone. After college Darrick had joined the police force, making detective in a relatively short time for a very young man. They had all been so proud of him. Ayana had been even more proud of him when he had asked if he could move back in for a time so that he could help her with Chad now that Hazel and Carmen were both in school.

Ayana knew it couldn't have been easy for him, but he had taken his role as man of the house very seriously. She had no pretenses that it put a cramp in her son's very active, she was sure, love life and that the guys at the precinct probably gave him no end of grief for still living with his mother. But, he had never complained and stayed with them for another seven years until he had met and married his sweet, pretty wife Emily whom Ayana thought of as her third daughter from the moment she met her. Chad was fourteen by then and a very responsible young man so Darrick had no reason to feel guilty about moving out. It didn't mean that the Danforth family didn't spend as much time with each other as possible, though. At least one weekend a month found all of her babies home with their own kids, no matter if Carmen and her husband had to drive nearly three hours to get there or Hazel and her fiancé had to get a flight out of L.A. It was a good thing Hazel was a flight attendant while she waited for her big break as a movie producer or Ayana was sure she wouldn't see her girl nearly as much and that would have broken her heart

"Chad, baby boy, what's wrong?" She asked automatically when Chad appeared in the doorway, his eyes stance exhausted and his eyes filled with unshed tears. She was too afraid to ask what had happened after he had called her to get permission to leave the school. Everything went quiet as he surveyed them all for a moment.

"What is it, baby brother?" Darrick asked quietly, getting up from his chair.

"Nothing," Chad said quietly, so low it was almost a whisper, "It's great to see you all. I'm just going to go up to bed. It's been a long day." He slipped out of the room as quietly as he had come, like a ghost.

"Well . . . not buying that for a minute," Hazel muttered, "You guys?" She fixed a look on her siblings and her mother.

"Not at all," Carmen stood.

"One of his friends had to go to the hospital today," Ayana said quietly, making all of her children turn to look at her, "A friend I think might be more than a friend."

_What now?_ Chad had just wanted to come home and sleep, he was so tired and so raw from the day. He was on his bed laying on his stomach and trying to calm himself down enough so that he didn't feel like he was going to cry at any second. He had completely forgotten that everyone was supposed to be home this weekend. Then he had walked in and couldn't help but get upset all over again because he was keeping so much of himself from the people that he loved the most. He'd had to come upstairs so that he wouldn't break down in front of his family. Though why he had believed that they would just let him be, he would never know. Without even getting up he knew that it was Darrick who had knocked on the door. He was the only person Chad knew who could knock on a door and express emotion through the way he knocked. Right now he was slightly worried and slightly annoyed.

"I'm going to bed," Chad called, closing his eyes when his voice broke.

"Not without telling us what's going on," Carmen was the first in the door, followed by his mother, then Hazel and Darrick. Darrick closed the door behind himself and leaned against it, giving Chad a sympathetic look as he sat up. Darrick knew as well as Chad did that when the Danforth women got an idea in their heads there was nothing that was going to stop them from getting what they wanted. And right now they wanted to know what was wrong with Chad. He knew in the instant that his mother sat on the bed with him and put her arms around him that he wasn't going to be able to keep control.

"Baby boy, how's Ryan?" she asked.

Oh, God. The one question he had been hoping that she wouldn't ask and it was the first thing out of her mouth. Chad put his head on her shoulder and let all of the fear he had felt and hidden all day, even from Ryan, wash over him. He wrapped his arms around his mother's waist and buried his face in her shirt.

"I was so scared," he would be ashamed that he had whimpered later, "I saw him go down the stairs and I swear that I couldn't breathe. Then he was so still and I thought . . . I thought . . . Mama!" The dam finally broke and he felt the hot tears rushing from his eyes. His mother only held him closer and rocked a little, murmuring nonsense in his ear. It didn't matter what she was saying, she knew, so long as he knew she was there.

They all sat there quietly as the story came in spurt and starts. He told them everything he had been hiding from them, all the feelings he'd had since he was younger and didn't understand. He told them how he had tried to pretend that he was just like everyone else, just like all of the friends he had grown up with, but how he couldn't hide it anymore the first time Ryan had accidentally run into him in the locker room and they had fallen to the floor together. Then, it had felt so right when he had stopped pretending. He told them how he and Ryan had been seeing each other for months, but that he couldn't give him all he knew Ryan deserved in a relationship because he had been too scared what everyone would think, despite the fact that he'd always known. And he was so scared to admit to himself just what it was he felt for Ryan. Then, he had watched him fall this afternoon and had known exactly what it was he felt about Ryan and suddenly it didn't matter what other people thought. Ryan was going to be fine. He had gotten to hold him and reassure himself, but he had just been so scared.

Carmen and Hazel couldn't help the tears that came to their eyes, seeing how upset Chad was. Darrick felt the tightening in his throat and felt his heart go out to his little brother. He didn't know how Chad had kept it in so long. He could only imagine how he'd react if something like what had happened to Ryan happened to Emily. He wanted to be angry that Chad hadn't trusted them enough to tell them what was going on with him. They were family. Even if Chad had told them he was a murderer, they were still family and they would still love him no matter what. Hadn't they all said that to each other more than once? That they would love each other no matter what? What made Chad think that something like the fact that he liked boys more than he liked girls, that he was falling in love with another boy, would change that? He wanted to be angry, but how could he be angry when Chad was crying his heart out, begging them not to be angry with him.

"Chad," Hazel took her little brother's hand when his sobs had calmed to sniffles, "You should have just told us. We love you, baby brother. No matter what."

"I know," Chad said quietly, "It was just so hard when so many things were going through my head. I didn't know what to do. I was confused and I was scared. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Carmen sat on the bed and pulled him away from their mother for a minute so that she could hug him, "Anyone would be scared. But, now that we know, honey bear, I have to ask: Are you being safe?"

"Carmen!" Chad pulled away to see his sister grinning at him, "I don't need to tell my sister anything about my sex life! That's just wrong!"

"But, you do have to tell your mother," Ayana made sure her voice was firm, though understanding, "Are you being safe, baby boy?"

"Jesus," Chad looked to Darrick, mortified. Darrick only shrugged, "Yes, Mama, we're safe. I promise."

"Good boy. Well, now. You just look all tuckered out. Come on, girls. Let's go make sure the men haven't left the dishes to Emily." She shared a look with Darrick as he opened the door for them, and then patted his cheek when she saw what she wanted to see in his eyes. Darrick turned back to his brother when they had gone. Chad was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking down at his feet. For a moment he looked so much like the seven year old Darrick had come home from college to help raise that he had to swallow around the lump of emotion in his throat.

"Darrick, I hope . . . I . . . you're the only dad I've ever known. I never wanted to . . . The last thing I ever wanted to do was let you down."

"Let me down?" Darrick moved to his brother and pulled him to his feet, wrapping his arms around him in a rough hug, "Chad, no matter what, you will never let me down. You're my brother. I love you. Soon as you're more comfortable with this I'm totally going to rag on you all the time, but there is nothing you could do, short of maybe becoming a Bears fan, that would make me say you've let me down. Now, come on. Mama's right. You look like shit. You've had a tough day. Get in bed."

"Darrick?" Chad's voice was small when Darrick was about to shut the door and turn off the light.

"Yeah?"

"Will you come meet him tomorrow? You and Mama and Hazel and Carmen and everyone? I want you to meet him."

"Sure, baby brother. Now go to sleep. Goodnight."

"Love you." Chad's voice was almost a whisper. He was half asleep already.

"Love you, too, baby brother," Darrick smiled and shut the door quietly.


	4. Chapter 4

All previous disclaimers apply

All previous disclaimers apply.

**Author's Note: Sorry it's taken so long to update this. Thanks to those who have reviewed so far! If you have a moment, please leave a review.**

It was going to be a beautiful day. Chad couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face as he sat on the deck he and his brother had added to the house together not even a year ago as a birthday present for their mother. The sun was just rising, warming him. It had been chilly when he had stepped outside nearly half an hour ago. He should have been sleeping still, he knew. It was Saturday, after all. And Chad Danforth never got up before eleven on Saturdays. At least, not usually. But, he had slept fitfully, waking almost every hour, checking his phone for missed calls. He knew now that he should have just stayed at the hospital. He was so worried about missing something, worried that something would happen to Ryan in the night. But, no one had called and if he had stayed at the hospital he wouldn't have been able to talk with his family and the talk had been long in coming, he knew. So, he had just accepted the fact that he wouldn't sleep well with knowing that Ryan was still in the hospital and when he had woken at five, he had simply decided to give up trying. It had still been dark when he had pulled on a sweatshirt before slipping outside quietly.

He was sitting cross legged on the dark stained wood now, hands on his knees, eyes closed as the sun swept over the land and began to brighten everything. He breathed in deeply once, breathed out. Did it again. What did Ryan call this? Trying to find inner peace? Or was it trying to find his center? Was there a difference? He didn't really hold with all the yoga philosophy that Ryan believed in but he did know that he was feeling much better now, much calmer, as he sat quietly and continued to breathe deeply. He smiled again when he almost felt Ryan's hands on him, one on the small of his back, the other on his shoulder, encouraging him to sit up straight, as he had the one and only time they had done this together. Chad had gone over to Ryan's in the early hours of the morning because he hadn't been able to sleep and they had made love slowly and quietly so as not to wake the house before Ryan had convinced Chad to join him in his morning routine on his private porch. Chad had laughed the whole time, but Ryan hadn't been displeased. They'd made love again in the shower and Chad had been home in enough time to get ready to go over to Darrick's to help him paint the nursery he had designed as a surprise for Emily.

The one thing he had been most concerned about whenever he thought about telling his family about Ryan and admitting to them and himself that he was gay had been his brother. Darrick had never given him any reason to make him believe that he would be anything less than supportive, but there was always the fact that he was a cop, had been a football player, and was, in general, a man's man. Chad sighed and his smile fell. He felt guilty now about worrying. Darrick was the only father he had ever known. Darrick loved him. He should have known that all along. He shouldn't have ever thought that Darrick would be anything less than supportive. Darrick knew what it was like to be on the outside of things, to not be completely accepted. As much as people said they accepted it, that it wasn't a big deal, it had been a big deal when Darrick had started dating Emily, especially for her family. But, they loved each other and Darrick had said that it was everyone else who was going to have to change if they didn't like it. Chad wondered now if Darrick had suspected his sexuality all along. Darrick had sat him down not even a year ago and they had talked for hours. At the end of the conversation, Darrick had looked him in the eye and smiled.

"Chad, just remember, love is never wrong, okay? If it's real, it can't be."

Chad hadn't known why he was saying it at the time, but maybe he did now. It just made him feel worse that he hadn't trusted his brother enough, his family enough, to talk to them about what he was feeling. Ryan had deserved more, as well. God, he could be such an ass! He had to resist slamming a palm into his own forehead.

"Go back to thinking about whatever you were thinking about before. It made you happier." A sweet, quiet voice had him looking up. Emily was wrapped in the blanket that his mother had made years ago, still in her long nightgown, her feet bare. Her long black hair was braided to the side and almost reached her waist. He wondered how she managed to look so young and so wise at the same time. She handed him a glass of orange juice before sitting down next to him. It was a production, considering her big belly, but she managed to make it look graceful.

"Couldn't you sleep either?" he asked.

"The baby woke me up," she murmured, setting a hand over where her child grew within her, "He's restless, I guess. What made you frown? You looked so happy before."

Emily was not his sister by blood. One look at her pale, pale skin and his caramel colored skin could tell anyone that in an instant, but she was his sister in every other way and he felt just as comfortable with her and he did with Carmen and Hazel.

"I was just thinking about how much of an ass I can be. I mean, I know you all love me and I know all my friends love me. And Troy's been like a brother my whole life. And I still didn't tell any of you about Ryan. Ryan deserves more than a closet case and you all deserve someone who's completely honest."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself, Chad. Coming out is hard in the best of situations. You had a lot to worry about. You and your buddies play sports, your brother is a cop, and your boyfriend is pretty flamboyant from what I've heard. I'm not saying it's a bad thing," she added before he could protest, "It's just a fact. There were a lot of variables you had no control over. No wonder you worried and kept it to yourself."

"Yeah, but… none of my friends or family have ever given any indication that they'd be anything less than supportive. I just feel guilty now for not trusting the people I love."

"So, in the future, have more faith," Emily shrugged and motioned toward his juice. He took a sip and handed it over to her. She took a big gulp and handed back the glass.

"Question?" Chad looked over at her, leaning his head on his hand, "Did Darrick know?"

"Answer," Emily smiled at him, "Yes. He walked in on you and Ryan asleep on the couch with a movie on a few months ago. He didn't say anything to anyone, though it really annoyed him that you were taking so long to tell everyone. He was pretty relieved last night when it finally came out. He wasn't ever going to tell you he knew, so don't tell him I told you, okay?"

"Okay," Chad smiled and took her hand, closing his eyes again, "Thanks, Emily."

"No worries, baby brother. Want to teach me some of those breathing exercises? They might help me not to kill Darrick. I swear, that man is driving me to distraction. I mean, I'm pregnant, not an invalid."

Chad laughed throatily and squeezed her hand, "Sure."

It was hours later in the hospital that Chad finally felt calmer as he took Ryan's hand in his own and kissed his forehead. Ryan sighed deeply in his sleep and wrinkled his nose as Chad sat on the side of the bed and pushed the loose blonde hair out of his closed eyes. Chad leaned over, placed a chaste kiss to Ryan's cheek, the tip of his nose, then finally his sweet lips, trying to awaken him gently and pleasantly. Ryan's eyes opened slowly and he smiled automatically to see Chad with him and his hand tightened in Chad's. Chad returned his smile before cupping Ryan's cheek with his free hand and leaning in to kiss him again.

Ayana couldn't help but blink back the tears that had sprung into her eyes to see the way her youngest son was gentled by this sweet, pale young man looking so small in a hospital bed. The way they touched each other spoke of an easy familiarity, but it was the way they looked at each other that had her heart constricting. They might not know it yet, but they were in love. It was an almost tangible around them. Ayana looked over at Ryan's mother to see the tears in her eyes as well. Though she had just met the woman, Ayana liked her. She could see that her son was in love as well and it pleased her heart as much as it pleased Ayana's. It felt natural to reach over and take her hand. Mothers understood, she thought, as her hand was held tight and they smiled at each other.

"Mama," Chad said quietly, "This is Ryan… my boyfriend. Ryan, this is my family. My mama…"

"Hello, Ryan," Ayana said quietly, moving to kiss Ryan's forehead.

"My brother Darrick and his wife Emily…"

"Hello," Emily waved slightly and Darrick smiled warmly.

"My sister Carmen and her husband Paul…" The couple nodded and smiled.

"And my sister Hazel. Her fiancée Jamal is at home with Carmen and Paul's kids. We didn't think you were up to bed-jumping monsters." They all laughed when Carmen reached over and slapped Chad upside the head without even dropping her smile.

"Ow!" Chad howled, more out of habit than because of pain, "Carmen!"

"I'm pleased to meet you all," Ryan said with a smile, his voice stronger than it had been the night before. Chad felt the band around his chest loosen, knowing that Ryan was truly going to be okay.

"Has the doctor been by yet?"

"Yeah," Ryan frowned.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ryan said quietly, "I'm going to be fine. I… I had a heart attack."

"What?" Chad couldn't keep the disbelief out of his voice.

"The doctors have done all the tests. It's something called…" he trailed off.

"Coronary artery contractions," Ryan's father stepped up to the bed and put a hand on Ryan's shoulder, "The doctor's explained it. Sometimes, without reason, the coronary artery will contract and narrow temporarily. If the contraction is severe enough it can cause a heart attack. That's what happened to Ryan. The contraction was severe and so he had a pretty severe heart attack."

"But, why?" Chad asked, now directing his question to Ryan's father.

"There's no medical explanation that the doctors can give us. Ryan doesn't have any medical predisposition to heart attack and they're not sure what causes coronary artery contractions. They said research is being done but so far the results have been inconclusive."

"So," Chad looked back at Ryan, "What do we do now?"

Ryan smiled at his use of 'we,' then spoke, "I stay in the hospital for a couple more days and they keep monitoring me. So, far this looks like a one time fluke. They've been keeping tabs on my heart and the arteries haven't contracted anymore at all, so it's not something that's always happened and this was just worse. They were afraid it was for a while. They warned me early this morning that if it was, I would have to give up a lot of things because the chances of it happening again were increased. But, it hasn't happened at all, not even a little, since they've been monitoring things. So after a couple of days here I go home for a couple of weeks while my heart heals some more. I take things slow and by graduation I should be back to normal."

"You're sure?" Chad asked quietly.

"Yes," Ryan answered back, just as quietly.

Everyone else in the room sensed the change between the two boys and they quietly made their exit as Chad set his forehead to Ryan's.

"I was really scared, Ry," he whispered as the door was closing behind the last of them.

"I was, too," Ryan admitted, "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"I always thought that I would die young."

"Ry…" Chad interrupted.

"Just listen for a minute, okay?" Ryan wouldn't allow him to stop the direction of the conversation, no matter how much it was disturbing him. Chad didn't like to hear Ryan speaking like this, but his just sighed, closed his mouth, and nodded.

"Ever since I was young, I thought there were just too many things against me for me to live a long life. I don't know why. So, yesterday when I fell, I thought that I was right, that it was all over. I thought I was okay with it until you were there, holding my hand. You called me Baby and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to be with you always. The bad feeling has gone away, Chad. For the first time in a really long time, it's not there anymore."

"Good," Chad kissed him deeply, "Because I'm yours and you're going to be mine for a very, very long time."

Ryan smiled when Chad climbed into the bed next to him again and they spent a while in silence, content to hold each other. It could have been minutes or hours later before they were rudely interrupted by a shrill voice and clicking heels.

"Oh, God!" Sharpay screeched as she entered the room, "I'm seriously going to have to get used to seeing you two like this? It isn't just a short term thing?"

"Yes, Sharpay," Ryan rolled his eyes, "You're going to have to get used to it. It isn't a short term thing."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Chad took Ryan's chin in his hand and fitted his mouth to Ryan's. Sharpay made a show of covering her eyes.

"Fine! But, if I ever walk in on you two doing it I'm totally moving out to Lava Springs permanently!"

"Promise?" Chad asked, breaking the kiss, "Well, in that case, Ryan, strip!"

Chad and Ryan collapsed in laughter as Sharpay screeched and ran from the room.


	5. Chapter 5

All previous disclaimers apply.

For the first time in a week, he was able to come awake slowly, allowing himself the indulgence of simply laying and thinking before he even had to open his eyes. What was different? He listened for a moment. It was a relief, but a little bit of an unusual one, to wake to the sound of birds instead of the sounds of a hospital busy around him. Oh, yeah. He stretched a little and made a sound of contentment from the back of his throat. He had come home from the hospital last night, more than a little sore still and not looking forward to the daunting task of having to climb the stairs up to his room because he didn't want to ask anyone for help getting up. But, he hadn't even had to ask. Chad had been there by his side, as he had been constantly for the past week, and must have seen the look on his face as they had entered the door. He had simply swooped Ryan up in his arms, bridal style, and carried him up the stairs, all the while nuzzling his hair. Ryan was a little fuzzy on what had happened next because the pain meds he had taken before he left the hospital had kicked in just about then and he had laid his head on Chad's shoulder and fallen asleep. Chad must have put him to bed. He smiled contentedly and opened his eyes when he heard a deep sigh and a hand that did not belong to him came to rest on his stomach. He turned over slowly, careful of his ribs, still extremely sore, to see Chad sleeping quietly next to him. Chad had almost never left him while he was in the hospital, often laying in the bed with him so that they were as close as possible. It seemed even in sleep Chad wanted to be close to him. The hand that had been on his stomach curled around his arm and Chad snuggled closer so that his face was buried in the crook between Ryan's neck and shoulder.

Ryan smiled. Was it unusual how much he loved this boy? Should he be scared that this was all happening too fast? Fast? He scoffed inwardly for a moment. How could he say that things had happened fast? He and Chad had been together, in one way or another, for nearly nine months. But, things had accelerated in the past week, he had to admit. In the last week alone, Chad had come out of the closet, not only to his family, but to his friends, he had been introduced to Chad's family and Chad to his, and they had gone from having no title to being fully out boyfriends. Boyfriends. Ryan liked the sound of that. He ran his hand, careful of his cast, over Chad's abundant hair. It was true. Chad was his much loved boyfriend. He knew the wisest thing to do would be to question Chad's affections for him as well, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Chad had outed himself without a second thought when Ryan got hurt. He had since stayed with Ryan, never once denying what they were to each other. Ryan knew without doubt that he loved Chad. Even if Chad couldn't say it back yet, he knew Chad loved him as well. They were in love with each other and it was a feeling unlike any other he'd ever known. He could wait until Chad was really ready to say it out loud.

"Hmm…" Chad groaned softly as he was coming awake. Ryan only smiled when Chad looked up at him, sleep still clouding his vision. Chad continued to look at him, blinked a couple of times, and waited for the clouds to clear from his mind. As soon as they did, he smiled back at Ryan, "Good morning."

"Good morning," Ryan responded quietly.

"You hurting?" Chad asked, propping himself up on one elbow, "Do you need me to go get you some of your pain meds?"

"Not yet," Ryan leaned closer to Chad and wrapped his arm around his waist. Chad chuckled and laid back down so that they could hold each other close.

"I think I like this," Chad murmured after a while.

"What?"

"Waking up next to you."

Ryan laughed a little and buried his face in Chad's shirt, "I can't believe my parents actually let you stay all night in my bed."

"Yeah, well…" Chad trailed off then grinned wickedly, "I didn't give them much of a choice. I pretended to be asleep when they came up to get me."

"Liar. You weren't pretending."

"You're right," Chad laughed, "I really was asleep. Can you blame me? I carried you upstairs. No small feat, considering how much you weigh."

"Remember that thing you like so much. You know… sex? You ever want it again?"

"Ouch." Chad ran his hand up and down Ryan's back, "Low blow. Okay… I promise never to make another comment about your weight ever," He hesitated for a moment, "After this. You really need to eat more, Ry. You're light as a feather."

"You're worried about my weight?" Ryan asked, unsure why the tears were coming into his eyes. All the other guys he'd dated, granted there weren't many, but all of them had always told Ryan how much they loved how thin he was. Even when he'd been dangerously thin, enough that his parents were worried and thinking of sending him away to a camp for his health, he'd thought that guys wouldn't like him as much if he put on even the slightest bit of weight. But, here was Chad, his wonderful boyfriend, more concerned with his health than his appearance. Ryan held on tighter.

"Well, yeah. I know you're a dancer and all, and dancers need to watch their weight, but you're so light. I never noticed before. I'm just… afraid I'll hurt you accidently or something."

"Chad, I've been in the hospital for a week. Not exactly a place to be gaining weight. But, I promise I'll watch it. I did the dangerous skinny thing for a while. But, with you I don't feel like I have to. I'll always be thin, Chad. A dancer has to be. But, I promise I won't starve myself for anything."

"Just because it worries me?" Chad asked, an eyebrow up.

"No. For me, too. But, especially because it worries you."

"Thanks, Ry." Chad nuzzled his hair, "Mama wants to have you over for dinner soon, too. I think she has the same idea about putting some meat on you." They cuddled for a few more minutes until Chad found the words that he felt he needed to say. He ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of Ryan's neck, "Ryan?"

"Yeah?" Ryan's voice was slow and quiet as he was nearly asleep again.

"I was really scared when all of this happened. Are the doctors really sure it'll never happen again?"

"Well, they can't be one hundred percent certain, Chad. But, they monitored my heart for six days and not once did my arteries contract again. They're pretty sure it was just a fluke. Something they can't explain. But, you need a why, don't you? To feel better?"

"It's just… healthy regular hearts just don't… and you're only in high school… and you're perfect. I just don't get it. And not getting it just makes me scared. Does that sound completely lame?"

"No," Ryan sat up a little and pressed their lips together gently, "It sounds really sweet."

"Are you still going to be able to dance? How you want to, I mean? Real ballet's really, really hard stuff, Ry. Stressful on the body."

"How do you know that?"

"I looked it up on the internet. Some of the things those guys do, it's just freaky."

"No, not that. How did you know what I really want to do is ballet?"

"It's just… I've seen you rehearse. You like being on the stage, but there's something different when you're just doing full out ballet. You're happiest then. I can see it in the way you move, the way close your eyes in the moment, the way you smile when you're done. Peaceful."

"Chad," Ryan was at a loss for words for a moment, "When…"

"Did I see you dance?"

"Yeah."

"All summer at Lava Springs. I used to watch you when you didn't know it. I pulled you into that closet after you had finished with some ballet because I just couldn't handle how beautiful you were without doing something about it."

"Chad," Ryan took a chance, forgetting his ribs, and rolled quickly so that Chad was under him. He sat up, looked Chad in the eye for a moment, saw the truth there, and pressed his lips to Chad's collar bone. Chad moaned and linked the fingers on both their hands, "I'm going to tell you something now, Chad, and you don't have to say it back, but I need to get it out before I explode." He paused, took a deep breath, "I love you."

"Ryan," Chad loosened his grip on one of Ryan's hands so that he could cup Ryan's cheek, "I've tried showing you a million different ways. I thought you could get it just from that because I was scared of the words. I'm not scared anymore, Ry. Life's too short to be scared like that. I think last week kind of proved that. I love you, too."

Ryan leaned back down and captured Chad's lips with his own. The kiss was sweet, chaste almost, and only lasted a few seconds until Ryan had to pull away on a hiss of pain.

Chad chuckled and gently moved so that Ryan was laying flat on his back again, "How about those pain meds now?"

"Yeah, maybe," Ryan smiled, though he was still a little too pale for Chad's liking.

"Great. I'll be right back, baby." He crawled out of the bed and started toward the door when Ryan's soft voice made him turn around.

"Chad?"

"Hmm?"

"The answer is yes. The doctors said that as long as I build up to it slowly, I'll be able to dance any way I want."

"Good," Chad sighed in relief and moved back to give him a brief kiss, "I was scared that it would get taken away from you. I… more than anything I want you to be happy, Ryan."

"I am happy, Chad," Ryan smiled, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Chad smiled back softly, "I'll be right back."


	6. Chapter 6

**All previous disclaimers apply.**

**Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to get up. Sorry the chapter is so short. And this is the last chapter. I think that about covers it!**

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Ryan asked quietly, linking his finger's with Chad's as the other put his fairly newly acquired used truck in park and turned the key. He expected Chad to take a moment, to collect his thoughts, but his boyfriend simply turned as soon as the question was asked and cupped his cheek in his free hand.

"Ryan, I have never been more ready for anything," Chad assured him quietly with a gentle smile, "My family knows about us and couldn't be happier. The only friends that matter have already told us that they have no problems with us."

"But, Chad…" Ryan couldn't help the lump of emotion that lodged itself in his throat, "If we don't do this you can still deny it. We don't have to come out, you know."

"Wait, wait, wait," Chad pulled his hand away, the uncertainty in his voice echoed as a hurt in his wide eyes, "Are you having second thoughts? Is it something I've done? You don't want people to know that I love you?"

"No!" Ryan wasn't surprised with how strong his denial was, but Chad flinched a little at the strength in his normally gentle voice. He lowered it immediately, ducking his head a little so that Chad didn't see the way he was blushing, "I love you, Chad, and I want the whole world to know it, but… what about schools, Chad? How many colleges are going to be able to get past the gay thing to let you play on their teams and give you scholarships? I know that the world isn't how it used to be, but it's still got a long way to go. I don't want you to have to change all of your plans just so that people know about us when I can wait until we're out of school to be out of the closet."

"You're worried about my future?" Chad asked, lowering his face a little so that Ryan could no longer see his eyes.

"Chad?" Ryan asked, setting a hand to the Chad's knee, a little unsure of what was going on and a little frightened because of that fact.

"Sorry," Chad lifted his head and Ryan could see that there were tears in his eyes that he would never allow to spill over, "Just had to get my emotions in check a little bit. Don't want people to see me crying in the parking lot. I'm already gay, they don't need anymore fuel for the fire."

"See, Chad? That's exactly what I'm talking about!"

"Ryan," Chad linked the fingers on both of their hands, "People are always going to talk when it comes to you and me. I mean, not only are we gay, but in case you didn't notice, you're white and I'm black."

"No, really?" Ryan rolled his eyes.

"I know you don't think it happens anymore, Ry, but racism is still around, even here. It was hard for Darrick and Emily for a while and they're a married man and woman above consenting age. What I'm trying to say is… if you and I spend the rest of our lives worried about what people might say about us, then we're going to worry our lives away. All of the people who should matter to us, our families and our friends, have no problem with us. I know my future, Ryan Evans. My future is you. If some teams and schools can't accept that, then I say fuck 'em. I love you. I am never going to be ashamed of that fact."

Ryan could help but throw his arms around Chad's neck and press their lips together in a searing kiss.

"Besides," Chad panted, as they pulled apart, "I kind of busted out of the closet when you were hurt. No chance of going back now, anyway."

Ryan simply laughed and allowed it when Chad wanted to open his door and carry his backpack inside. He couldn't keep the smile from his face when he reached out to link his fingers with Chad's as they walked up to the school and Chad allowed it with a small nod and a smile of his own. It felt strange as they were walking that immediately Chad was flanked by people. Troy and Gabriella, Jason and Kelsi, Zeke, others from the basketball team. They all seemed to immediately fall into step and no one even looked sideways at their joined hands. Ryan had never been part of a group like this. He'd never had enough friends, but here were people asking him how he was feeling, offering to help him with homework if he needed a little extra time to get all caught up. What was more, they actually seemed interested in his answers. When Sharpay made her entrance and joined Zeke, they did the same for her.

"Gabriella?" Ryan asked as they were all walking to homeroom. Chad had dropped his hand to enthusiastically describe the last five minutes of a basketball game that had been on television the night before.

"Yes?" They seemed to fall a little behind everyone automatically so their conversation stayed a little more private.

"Isn't this all a little easy?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, these are jocks, and I'm gay and Chad's gay and we do indeed have sex… with each other. Aren't these guys just going with the flow a little to easily?"

"Not really," Gabriella smiled at him and linked her arm with his, "You've been gone for a couple of weeks, Ryan. It was harder for some of them at first, but they came around once they saw that Chad was still the same Chad he'd always been. And it helped, of course, that Troy said he was sticking by you guys no matter what. We are still in high school, after all, and what the most popular boy says still has a lot of influence. There are going to be plenty of people who are going to give you and Chad a hard time all your lives, Ryan. Why not be happy that there are some right now that it doesn't matter to in the least?"

"You're right, I know," Ryan's voice was still a little unsure, "I guess, I just expected it to be… harder."

"So, have a little more faith next time."

"Ryan?" Chad finally seemed to notice that his boyfriend was not by his side any longer and turned around. Ryan smiled at him, thanked Gabriella quietly and then took big steps to link his fingers with Chad's again just as they walked into homeroom.

"I love you," Ryan whispered.

"I love you," Chad whispered back.

They took seats next to each other and Ryan smiled when Chad placed a sweet kiss to the back of his hand before releasing it reluctantly. They smiled when Troy made a gagging noise from the back of his throat. Chad turned his head, ready to be angry until he saw the smile on Troy's face and he and Ryan laughed with everyone else.

"Alright!" Darbus made her usual entrance, sashaying to the front of the room and holding court, "Quiet now and we shall observe the sanctity which comes from silence. After a moment we will have discussion on why silence in imperative to a wonderful theatrical experience!"

"The more things change," Chad whispered under his breath.

"The more they stay the same," Ryan finished. And they smiled.

**That's it, the end of this fic. I've been debating a sequel, but I'm not sure what it would be. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you to everyone who stuck with this and anyone who reviewed!**


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